Grief

As it’s rightly said “This too shall pass” and “Nothing is permanent” are great motivational quotes. We are still a vulnerable beings when it comes to emotional break down or heartache or loosing someone we love. This quotes seems to be easier said than done when it comes to practical implementation of those things, most of us frequently fail. As emotional beings we are dependent on our attachment to people, animals and things we love and possess. Or most of the time its seems we behave or believe that things and people we love we possess. We are the owners and we expect them to behave in certain way which fulfils our emotional needs of being happy, feeling secured, being loved and cared. So what happens when someone leave you? Or someone ditches you and breaks your heart? or when your loved ones are no more in this world? What happens? Most of us experience 2 things I.e. Grief and Depression. I bet most of us have gone through emotional break downs in past or are going through right now. Undoubtedly it’s the worst time of anyone’s life. To make things worse there are always something like memories, photographs, places, things and songs galling your mind as a constant reminder to mourn. Depression is painful at first but our mind and body gets hooked up to it after sometime. By hooked up I mean addicted. Now you may say, No one likes to be addicted to depression or grieve their whole life. I may disagree, Depression is addictive. Our mind and body cannot feed on something for a long time and it needs change or we become restless but when you are grieving, everything around you slows down. We start living in past and it feels like we are time traveller only difference is it continuously takes us in past. We fear that our connection will be lost with someone who is no more part of our life so we keep thinking about them and miss them a lot thus making our self-more depressed and sad. I am not suggesting to stop grieving but I believe it plays important role for us to move on in life. It’s important to know that grievance without accepting reality makes you more depressed. Memories are there to be cherished and not to be mourn upon, definitely not for long. While grieving we need to continuously remind our self that the person is no more in our life and we need to live life without them. You being stuck in a depressed zone doesn’t mean everyone who is still there in your life will stop, they will not as life goes on. There is a certain pattern to life and most importantly it never stops until our last breath. Getting out of that zone requires constant effort and it’s exhausting. But you need to do it because there are people still in your life that requires the same amount of attention that you once desired for someone you love who is no more with you and if you are not then you are probably being selfish. And mostly important you yourself needs to push and take that first step of moving on. No amount of sad or happy music or anti-depression pills will help you. Only person who can help you to get out of this grievance is yourself. You have a life and there is some reason you are still alive so live it responsibly. Your connection with your loved one whom you have lost shouldn’t be an insecure or sad one but an eternal connection that will inspire you to live life happily. Remember that happiness is not everlasting so is the sadness. You have all rights to grieve for your lose but it’s equally important to accept the fact and move ahead in life. As they say we are all transcendental souls fitted in an impermanent body. Our body dies but are soul remains and then we are just transferred to some other body. So going by the rule of reincarnation, person whom you lost has already starting living life so why are you stuck?
Darshan Joshi

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