Random Cross-roads

I never get it first time, may be I am slow to understand what’s been offered to me and their intentions to preach me things they want me to believe which I haven’t experienced yet. Sometimes I feel I am falling coz I over stepped on something I shouldn’t have but sometimes I feel I was pushed so I could fall down, deliberately to make me understand. I have been looked upon as someone who can fulfil their dreams or achieve things they never did. Tired of losing they want to win through me so they could be proud of something at last they would achieve. The more they guide the more misguided I feel. It seems I am living someone else’s life. The more I say yes to things I should have said no the more I distant myself from who I am. Feels like I am just a character in a movie and my life story is written by someone else. I don’t want to be dragged n pushed just coz it’s important to learn few things. Most of the times when I feel awaken is middle of the night and rest of the day seems like I am obligated to do certain things Coz everyone around me is doing exactly the same things. The problem is no one challenges no one. People get offended fast not Coz I did something wrong but coz I shattered their expectations. There is always a comparison and competition wherever i go and most of the time i leave myself out of it coz I love simple things. I find happiness with not how much I earn nor my designation but with some phenomenon happening naturally or in its original form. I fight my fears everyday sometimes they win and sometime I do but isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? I don’t want to create a web around me but a freeway for someone to walk in or move out as they like coz I am here to play my part and I am sure people in my life will play theirs.
I don’t want to learn how to love instead I prefer falling in love. I don’t want to marry instead I want my soul to flawlessly connect with someone which can’t be broken ever. I have had my heart broken many times and yes I have broken hearts too and after all this years I feel it was best thing that ever could happen to me or person with me. I have wasted many months listening to sad songs and locking myself in but it was necessary. Nothing lasts forever so you naturally move on in life. You cannot be happy or sad forever and the same is with love, you cannot love someone forever coz there are times when love fades away and it’s just two bodies living with each other. Some are happy to drag life the same way because of the insecurities and some step out of it and start freshly coz life always gives you chances to live the way you always wanted. And when you can’t love someone forever make sure you are with someone whom you connect with from your heart and soul coz when love fades, it’s that connection which keep things alive and off course as couple things needs to be re-invented. So I am ready for re-invention, I am ready for the struggles of life because someone rightly said “there’s always going to be struggle in life so choose wisely whom you want to struggle with” And because of all the random things I have written on this article which may have no link with each other I will name it “Random Cross-roads”



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